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          The British Art Show 7:
          In the Days of the Comet Nigel Ayers casts a sceptical eye over The British Art Show 
          
          
           
 
 
          Up the marble 
          staircase of the Plymouth City Museum and past all the natural history 
          stuff and there’s bits of window frames on wheels that look like 
          they’ve been salvaged from skips. It’s the British Art Show, 
          but 
          times are hard 
          and the quality of found objects has dropped: 
          so much for readymades, it’s cheaper to paint on canvas these days. 
           
          
           
          Anyway, that stuff’s by the 
          door. And you walk past it and there’s a 
          load more old window frames that have been built up and made into a 
          big tall kind of platform construction with some cushions on it.
          They remind me a bit of a
          70's Habitat book I once had, where 
          it was all platform beds, and bean bags and these little carpeted 
          niches in the floor where you could do all your wife-swapping and 
          drink Matteus Rose. In the handout it says 
          its by Spartacus Chetwynd and that its influences include a load of things. 
          Maybe I’ll look them up.
          Maybe I 
          won’t bother.. There’s some paintings on the walls round the edges, but they don’t really register with me. There’s also some down the far end. They're a really dull colour of really boring scenes in Coventry: a football pitch beside council flats and graffitie’d walls. Places where nothing big and important ever happened, but where people live and kids grow up. I like these. The label says they're by George Shaw and they’re painted in Humbrol paint. Wow. I start doing mental calculations on how much all the little pots of paint must have cost. I’m thinking on hundreds and hundreds of those little pots you use for airfix kits in colours like British racing green and Pillarbox Red. Proper old fashioned colours you don’t get any more. 
          
           
          At the Peninsula 
          Arts Centre, Plymouth University across the road, the Brit Art art 
          show continues. There are flimsy wooden trestle tables with magazine and 
          newspaper cuttings under Perspex by Wolfgang 
          Tilmans. The one image of all the dozens of 
          images that sticks in my mind, like atrocities tend to, is one of two 
          guys about to be publicly hanged in Iran for being gay. Makes you 
          wonder what you can do about it. And there’s lots of other stuff about 
          religious intolerance and the catholic church.  And so this must be 
          the research material Wolfgang Tillmanns has collected over the year. 
          And what does he do with it? There’s a wall-sized digital print of 
          green on green smears. Not my favourite colour. Not very well-mounted 
          on the wall. I don’t get it. Is this abstract image 
          a response to the horror? It’s sort of anti-humanistic, but wouldn’t 
          exist without complex chemical processes and all that digital 
          malarkey. And the way it hangs, you don’t really notice it. 
          
           And there’s a room that you can walk into through a curtain and it’s pitch black. It’s really black, not just subdued lighting. You bump into people but at least you can see the projection properly, for what it’s worth. There’s an old-school 16mm film loop running in a booth and some electronic sounds, and some images on a the screen but I can’t remember what they were. It could have been anything, whatever it was, I wasn’t taking notes at the time and I’ve forgotten. 
          
           Onwards I trek, to the worst-named art space in the west of England, The Slaughterhouse. It’s a 40 minute walk out of the city centre, out past the Brittany Ferry port, past the army base with the marine on the gate holding a bloody big gun, to Prince William’s yard. They’ve got some installations set up that are all a bit boring. Matthew Darbyshire’s one’s like a gift shop anywhere. Down at the far end there’s one of Marclay’s turntables, with a transistor radio on it and a DVD player instant retro. 
          Then there this other really 
          dark room, which, when your eyes eventually adjust you realise is a 
          proper little cinema, with proper seating. They’re showing  Christian Marclay’s 
          "The Clock". So I stand and watch, 
          while my eyes adjust. I don’t really like watching videos in 
          galleries, but this one really starts to draw you in. It’s lots of 
          short bits of film, clipped from films dating back maybe 80 years and 
          more recent ones like The Big Lebowski and every so often there’s a 
          close up of a clock or a watch. And after a few minutes I notice that 
          all the clocks are at ten to four, so I’m wondering how many films are 
          there where the clock is a ten to four. Is this some stock footage 
          that got used over and over? 
          
           There’s another dark room and there’s a more narrative kind of film running, with actors in a pub, some sort of mildly surreal things going on. In the corner there’s an animatronic rubber head with rolling eyes constantly spewing out white liquid that’s pumped round and round. It's by Nathaniel Mellors and I like that too. 
          
          And that’s about it. 
          
           The downside of this kind of art is you come away from it feeling very baffled and switched off. There isn’t a way into it without specialised knowledge. On the plus side, they’ve got this great thing going where the projections are in very, very dark rooms, without any of that health and safety nonsense. And you could while away a rainy day watching that Marclay film. And it’s free. 
 
 
          The British Art Show
          Plymouth 17 September – 4 December  
          
           
          web site:
          http://www.nigelayers.com  
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