I am out of the office with intermittent
access to email. I’d love to help you, but…
Sooooooh…. where are we at? It’s been a while. Let’s call it like I see
it. I didn’t leave mergers and acquisitions, they left me. I’d
wrongsided the demographic (‘cocktail of misanthropic emotive states’).
My capture was fading. I was losing bandwith. I didn’t leverage that
‘unyielding integrity’, you got me? Look, this is who I was meant to be.
Eye that shalt not be swayed by fear. Accumulate. Just a wolfblood.
Never missin’ out. So this is all I need to be, just let me transform.
Drinkin’ Ritalin’ LOL!
than anything I yearned for a little time, just to assess and mitigate
immediate impacts, to develop a high-level overview that’d really frame
the conversation. Sure, we all need process, some fast 540-degree
thinking, but what you people all seem to really want is something that
simply lets you return to the wild. Not ‘not new but neo’, but
narcissism nouveau. Loop back. Sit by fire in the ancient way. Honour
rich heritage. Humble and open. Laverbread with cockles. Re-strategized
emotional research. And so, I entered on the deep and savage way.
Linkedin indicated that I was receptive to an offer. I pounced on the
first with all the wholeheartedness I could stomach. ‘Lead Attentiveness
Evangelist’ for some anonymous oracle who spends most of its days on the
fruit machines at the Accelerando Four Seasons (never burn bridges.
Today’s junior prick, tomorrow’s senior partner). From the get-go I
wasn’t just living the values, I was the values. Sprinkling a little of
my magic. In this space, I call to thee. This is my will, So Mote It Be.
It was all cascaded through FaceTime: “Breathe in (1,000,000 Rupiah),
Breathe out (1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe in (1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe
out (1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe in (1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe out
(1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe in (1,000,000 Rupiah), Breathe out
(1,000,000 Rupiah)… Slowly open your eyes.” Look, you, I handle blot
ritual by any means necessary. I do not let personal feelings restrain.
Strong will of mind. Confidence to succeed. One candle of color, will
make them accede.
Reputational damage aside, never had any insecurities to lose,
completely lucid. Looking backwards into myself. There’s no reflection
in this mirror. And so, you know, nothing to worry about. Got all of my
ducks in a row. “My life didn’t please me, so I created my life”, Coco
And pretty soon enough I was suffocating from all the fucking holism.
Gimme some prudence, some self-reliance, some granularity: not
everything is connected! But, turns out doing a little re-branding work
on the self does wonders for improving one’s marketability, maximising
labor potentials. It appeals directly to the kind of ‘emotional
intelligence’ that buys a sincere product just to feel ‘different’.
Earth, grass, trees and seeds reveal the brand to suit their needs. As
Age ordains and Birth concedes, all they shall lose are my proceeds.
Sooooooh, one of my interns spends a little me-time at a fuss-free
sacred woman intensive working hard on how the market views my ‘feelings
of affectivity’. Time out from endless pot-pourri. OMGGGGGGGGGG. Voyage,
voyage. Esperanto soundtrack. Days of our Lives photography. Learn to
tune yourself out. Recede. She ‘notices’. Seigfried’s milkweek, cetipede,
flaxseed, ganymede, poppy seed… She is colonically irrigated by a
mesopagan idea shower. There’s an erupting superabundance of value, an
exuberant flowering of unwaged energy given happily, enjoyed and
joyfully exploited. Intercede, proofread mortgage deed, tweed-greed,
overfeed white bead, lightspeed title deed.
ATTENTION. After just one week, my affectivity ratings are going through
the roof. I dispatch another succubus from the typing pool for some
daily affirmations that win me even more hearts and minds. I can see at
once the immense potential, my interns’ authentic passions
transubstantiated as capital through the power of repeating words as
often as they feel is right. The vernal equinox is happy to offload and
govern more than 78% of my workforce’s emotional labor, keeping one
ahead of one’s peers by promising everything else a fuller, better life.
I settled my self into this, actioned it. Transubstantiated all my
assets as a willow sapling in the throbbing epicentre of the Bay Area.
It has its own occult blog that updates on the half hour. And also in
addition this leaves my fingers free to get on with architecting a
franchise of Druid-friendly meeting venues and retreats. Psychoactivity
Center for Responsibilization: remodelling today’s whirling dervishes
into tomorrow’s leading prosumers. The brand ID is exquisite: a snow
white cross resting quietly on a snow white background. Gaian heir
apparent of Euroluxe Martini ads (anytime, anyplace, everywhere). I have
fun doing this. Getting it through the pipeline. But, at close of play,
I’m not doing it for fun. Good luck!